I was on the phone with my sister this morning. She reminded me that there would be a full moon tonight and I need to think about what I want to let go of. I tried to think of something off the top of my head, but nothing came. So I filed the notion in my “later” folder. We spoke for a while longer; it was an endearing conversation. We have those often now. I see my sister through new eyes, it’s kind of cool getting to know her again. It feels…natural. Kinda like, duh this is how it’s supposed to be, but also like when you meet a new girl friend and you click instantly. Like girl where you been? I was looking for you....
Anyway, after a very physically exhausting work out I decided I’d do an hour of self care. This is a new practice for me. I come home, tell my kids exactly what I’m doing (“hey guys moms gonna clean the tub, come downstairs and eat lunch (even though it’s clearly dinner they will then look at me perplexed,
But I want to emphasize to them what kind of day I had. The kind where you forget to eat lunch!) run a bath, take some Motrin because I’m in pain, soak for about 40 minutes, and I do not want to be bothered. Does anyone need anything before I start that process?”)
This conversation does three things, it sets boundaries which teach them to respect peoples alone time, it offers a moment for them to think what is important to them, and if it can wait to be shared, it also allows me to see what’s important to them and address it immediately if necessary, and lastly it gives me the “me time” I am so deserving of. Whew that was a mouth full, and it was also four things, but whatevs.
Back to the moon... so I’m taking a bath right, soaking, listening to the Kem station on iTunes, and this Musiq Soulchild song (Dontchange) comes on, and my “later” notion suddenly appeared. I began listening to the lyrics like it was my first time ever hearing the song. I heard it with new ears. Tears, tears were falling all over the place. But not because I feel this way toward someone else.
Y’all, my other mind told me to sing this song TO MYSELF. My other mind said “listen to these words and say them OUT LOUD to yourself!” I was like 😭😭😭😭😭(yes emoji’s, because sometimes they express emotion better than words). I start smiling, laughing, singing the lyrics out loud to myself, hugging myself, crying, reveling in myself, laughing more, rediscovering all that I am.
Out of tune and as loud as I could:
I will love you when your hair turns gray
(because I’m graying on my edges and it’s been really hard to accept).
I will love you if you gain a little weight
(because I fluctuate and sometimes it’s really hard to accept my “bigger times”)
The way I feel for you will always be the same, just as long as your love don’t change....
Cause I'm not impressed, more or less
By them girls in the T.V and magazines
(really I’m not, it’s way too hard trying to live up to that standard lol)
Cause honestly I believe that your beauty
Is way more than skin deep
(seriously I really love my heart, the way it gets beat and broken and still makes room to love more. Harder, longer, stronger)
Cause everything about you makes me feel
I have the greatest gift in the world
(I like being me, I am my greatest gift to myself)
And even when you get on my last nerve
(if you’re not getting on your own nerves in a regular basis, you’re not growing/changing. Level up, start self examining more. You’ll realize how annoying you are 🤣)
I couldn't see myself BEING ANOTHER GIRL
Right in the nick of time my other mind showed me myself again, told me not to forget these alone moments, where I show myself love, because everyone needs and deserves them (without feeling guilty, or selfish, or judged). This world is so heavy,
Love. Yo. Self!
When I got out the bath, the kids were ready to chat about their day and hang out. I was able to be present and engaged because I took that moment to myself. Engaging in self care is not just for you, it’s for those you love as well!!!
What are some ways that you engage in self care? How do you communicate your need for it to your family? Let’s chat!!! Comment below.